Advice Letter [Health] ~ Frenemies
Dear Anika,
I’ve noticed that a popular group of boys who hang out near my locker have become friends with a loner boy, who isn’t cool or popular. When the loner boy is not around, the popular boys are constantly make fun of him. I overheard them saying that they only befriended him for entertainment. I know this isn’t right. I feel bad for the loner boy. What should I do?
From, Abby.
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Dear Abby,
You are correct, what the popular boys are doing isn’t right. And yes, you must tell this boy being made fun of.
You can do this in two simple steps:
➔Step 1: Talk to the loner boy privately about why the other boys befriended him. You’ve have to tell, for the benefit of you and the boy. But you must sound assertive, and not like you’re tattletaling. The boy probably won’t believe you at first , then give him examples of how his ‘friends’ are talking about him and why.
➔Step 2: Since you are a third party in this matter, you should not intervene. Instead, you have to help the boy become assertive when he goes to confront his ‘friends’. Help him learn the difference between between passive, aggressive and assertive behaviour. Tell him that when he goes to face his ‘friends’, he should use an assertive mindset.
When you have to be assertive, you need to be 100% honest without being demeaning, you need to be respectful. If you’re assertive, you can disagree without hurting anyone’s feelings. You’re a good listener as well as you are a good speaker. To have an assertive person, you must have strong self confidence and you must believe that you have a say in all matters.
It is quite possible that the boy is not as much of a loner as you make it seem and already knows how to be assertive, but a reminder never hurts.
When the boy goes to talk with his ‘friends’ with an assertive mindset, he’ll be able to understand why this group of boys befriended him in the first place. Sadly, you won’t be able to stop him from feeling hurt, but at least he knows the truth now.
Good Luck,
Anika
I really liked how you gave advice to Abner because this can help them solve the problem.
ReplyDeleteI really like your letter! I thought that It was really clear and gave really good advice! Now I know that if I ever see someone making fun of their friends behind their back, I can just follow these steps. Good job! (●´ω｀●)
ReplyDeleteThis comment is for Anika: I thought that you had really good advice for the victim, but I think you could've focused more on what the bystander/witness is supposed to do in the situation. Remember, the advice letter is supposed to be to the bystander, not the victim.
ReplyDeleteThis review is for Anika. I was especially impressed by how your advice had lots of detail while still being easy to understand. You might improve by adding a little more advice since you only had two pieces. The strategy I would most likely use from this advice column talking to the loner boy privately because think it would really help to solve this problem. Good job!
ReplyDelete